27 Jun Let’s talk about nipples.
Ladies and gentlemen… we all have nipples.
Well, I mean, most of us do. Barring any sort of surgery, illness or horrifying nipple-removing sort of accident that involved a deeply v-neck shirt and a deli slicer, you probably have nipples. Who knows, MAYBE YOU HAVE MORE THAN TWO. Guess what? We don’t care if you have seventeen nipples, as long as you rock those nipples proudly and as long as they are in astoundingly good health.
WHICH IS WHERE WE COME IN.
We at Serious Lip Balm have decided to shift our moisturizing and healing gaze from those luscious lips of yours to your nipples… that’s right, your nipples. Why would we do this? It’s simple… because, much like your lips, if your nipples are chafed, cracked, split, raw or – heaven forbid – bleeding… how do we put this politely… YOU’RE GONNA HAVE A BAD DAY. We love you and we do NOT want you to have a bad day. No bad days. None.
So what causes gnarly nipples? Well, the obvious one is, well, obvious. BABIES. All of you mamas out there who are breastfeeding those beautiful little rays of heavenly sunshine that are your children are basically at the highest risk for some serious nipple woes. There are all sorts of reasons we could list here, but do we need to? Just know that we feel you, mamas, and we know you need some relief. Our Serious Nip Balm is crafted to give you the all-natural moisture and healing that your poor nipples deserve while being free of nut oils and flavor-less for your little one(s). Did we mention that it also comes in a sweet little balm tube so that you can keep it with you and not have to smear it all over the place in order to use it? HALLELUJAH.
Now onto the men… let’s talk about man nipples. Yeah, you may not have as many problems as the breastfeeding ladies, but for those of you dudes who run, YOU KNOW NIPPLE TRAUMA. If you’ve ever had a “soft” moisture-wicking shirt rub your poor nips during a five mile run as if it were a CHEESE GRATER, let us hook you up. I mean, seriously, what do you want to do, slap a mega bandaid on those puppies and then try to rip them off ALONG WITH YOUR CHEST HAIR? If so, have a great time, and may everything holy have mercy on your nipples. Slide some nipple balm on your man nips and hit the trails and save us all the view of your bloody nipples, okay? DON’T CLICK HERE UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE BLOODY MAN NIPPLES.
So anyway, friends, there you go; snag yourself some Serious Nipple Balm (you can get it HERE!) for those in need… they will thank you later. Profusely. We swear.
… and stay away from the deli slicers, okay? Protect those nipples. PROTECT THEM.